I'm not scared, just terrified. Tomorrow I will get on a plane for a country I've visited casually for years, without being anywhere near fluent to the language, and starting a job I never really considered before. I'm going to teach English in Korea. South Korea for all of those ignorant to that part or any other part of the world.


But yes I'm qualified. I have a double bachelor in English and Drama writing. (You know the hard ones to get), and I have a teaching certificate. Um, it sounds like I'm qualified right?

But what if I'm that one...

Teacher that everyone gives the terrible nick names like “Professor Dumb-shit”.

I would really hate to be the very thing I loathed so much during my tenure as a student in the world of schools. It's funny, when I applied for this job I was decently qualified I guess. But it just doesn't feel like it. Up to this point I've been a dish washer, music “sales associate” (the bastards wouldn't even let me have the title of salesman or something to at least pretend that I was important), mail handler, Park Guide, computer wannabe fixer (I forgot my official title but it doesn't matter since I really had no idea what I was doing), and most importantly film production assistance. The last one there is the only one I really felt like I was doing something worthwhile. But whats odd is none of these jobs were “Full time”, or better put the job you work like you exist in the real world.

Now I'm suppose to work. Do something a little more involved then manipulating a camera or light, I suppose to teach English, (or at the very least Engrish). Maybe this is how Professor Dumb-shit felt, that sneaking feeling from behind that you were suppose to do something and you didn't, like really learning how to do your job. Or learning English

Or maybe it's nothing.

I have been watching a lot of the A-team, and Magyver. Perhaps if shit hits the fan I'll “pity the foo” and tie a shoe string around my students heads and throw them out the window, while finally being able to explain how the English language is really just an exercise in winging it, and maybe just maybe that all will end with smiles and cheesy 80's electro piano in the background.

Wish me luck. And next time you see a Professor Dumb-shit, just think you too may personally know one. So “Pity the Foo” and use your tube sock to make a member's only jacket and make a quick escape.